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Sometimes I hate being a girl

February 11, 2012

I truly believe that women worry about their weight much more than any man. Even the male movie stars don’t seem to obsess over it or have others obsess over it the way that people do with their female counterparts.

I enjoy being a woman most days. I like to think that I am ultra feminine and always carry myself like a lady. That being said the concept of emotional eating I think is something that is almost solely a female issue. The definition of emotional eating is “eating or overeating triggered by emotional states”. I know that I have done quite a bit of this in my past for various reasons and I am trying to get a handle on understanding why I do such things and what stimulus sets this in motion for me so I can avoid it going forward.

I have determined that the threat of being a failure sets emotional eating in motion faster than anything else that I have ever encountered and failure is looming over me like an enormous black cloud that I cannot seem to escape at this moment. It is highly possible that I may lose my job in the span of a few weeks for something that I cannot control. Being fired is one of the ultimate failures in my mind and thinking about it is what has brought this post. For me, being fired is a person telling you that no matter how hard you work and no matter how dedicated you may be, you along with what you are doing is simply not good enough and we refuse to waste time and money on you go forward. What have I done in the face of such a serious rejection in the past? I ate! Sometimes I would eat to the point of nausea. Other times I would just eat something that I love and revel in the taste and in the smell and do everything I could to forget what propelled the eating in the first place.

So now, one of my first tests begin on the “road to recovery” as I like to think of it. I have to battle through this dark cloud and if it turns out to be the case that I do lose my job, I have to focus on the knowledge that I did everything that I could to be a diligent, hard working, trustworthy employee and sometimes situations are truly out of ones control. Will that be enough to keep me off the rollercoaster of emotional eating? Honestly, I don’t know.

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From → Weight Musings

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