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Crash and Burn

March 13, 2012

Today started as any other day…my alarm went off at 6:15am, I brushed my teeth and took a shower. As I emerged from the shower I realized that I had forgotten to weigh myself Sunday morning like I have been every Sunday for the past five weeks since I started this journey. So, I hopped on the scale expecting to see it another pound or two lighter from the last time and much to my dismay, the scale read 272.5. That means that I gained 2.5 lbs and that diminishes my weight loss down to 2 lbs in 5 weeks. I know what all of the weight loss experts would say…”Review your food journal, what changed?” or “You’re menstruating right now and that will make your weight a constant state of flux during this time”. I get it, I do. But damn it, when you are trying so hard to modify your behaviors and correct the course that ultimately you have been on your entire life, gaining weight can really get you down.

So this very minute I have decided that I am going to begin a detox and give up the one thing in life that I truly enjoy, especially since after surgery it will be dead to me anyway…Coke Zero. Oh, how I love my cold, carbonated beverages. I have been a Coke junkie for as long as I can remember but, I know it became especially important to me while I was in college. I started my day with a Coke. I think I have even brushed my teeth a time or two with Coke. Once I had to give in and accept the fact that I am a diabetic, I made the switch to Diet Coke and absolutely loathed it. Fortunately for me, that was right about the time that my beloved Coke Zero came on the scene and I was saved! It has all the same flavors as Coke with no aftertaste and it has an artificial sweetener that will not affect my blood sugar. However, I can admit that it is hindering me from losing more weight. I know this. I accept this. It doesn’t mean that I have to like it or that I want to jump for joy at the prospect of a Coke free future.

It’s funny how we become so dependent on something that is so bad for us. I akin this to a drug addict or even to an alcoholic. Most things are fine in moderation but when it comes to my carbonated beverages I have never been one known to moderate my own behaviors. So this is me…a self-confessed Coke-aholic  imposing my own detox. Mind over matter, right? This fat girl is going to step away from the soda can.

God help everyone around me!


From → Weight Musings

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