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The waiting continues…

May 29, 2012

It’s been a while since I have written anything. Life and laziness took hold and kept me from sharing my witty commentary. Right this moment I am waiting to hear news as to whether or not I officially lose my job after a bogus suspension. It sucks to give so much of yourself, only to be hit with the fact that someone can take such things away from you any time that they please with little or no explanation. So while I have been dealing with all of this my confirmation letter arrived from my insurance company to let me know that my surgery will be covered. Yay!! Now we can really get the show on the road. Right…that’s what I thought. However, just like the aforementioned reality set in with my career scenario I come to find out that reality comes with this good news as well.

I have to have a procedure called an esophagogastroduodenoscopy, or an EGD for short. Go ahead and google it. It will tell you all about it. I am not concerned about having the procedure done as I am relatively certain that I am healthy and have no complications in this area that would get in the way of me being able to have my bariatric surgery. The thing that really frosts my flakes is that it is going to take 6 weeks before I can have the procedure. Baring that there are no complications or issues that need to be addressed, a week after this procedure I will have a final meeting with a nutritionist that I am sure will go over the dos and don’ts of what to consume post op. At that meeting, I will then FINALLY be scheduled for surgery which is scheduled 6-8 weeks out. What does all of this mean? It means an incredibly frustrated fat girl. I had been told throughout this process that I would be having surgery in mid to late July. Now that time frame is roughly a month away and I find out that it will be definitely August, possibly September before I have the surgery.

My family reminds me that this is really not a setback, that it’s simply an issue of scheduling. In my rational mind, I can concede that I understand their line of thinking. In my emotional fat girl wants to move forward line of thinking, it feels like one more thing that is getting in the way of me being able to start the journey that will assist me with finding my inner thin girl. What’s the rush, right? Well I suppose it is my want, no my need, of being well on my way with this by the holidays so I have some much needed assistance with keeping me from over doing it at the dinner table. It is also my need to so desperately have some progress by those holidays so that for the first time ever my family tells me that I look like I’ve lost weight and they mean it. It’s terrible to be so controlled by what someone else thinks of you but, I just cannot seem to help it.

However, it looks like I may have plenty of free time to get my thoughts and feelings about this under control because by tomorrow I may be out of a job. Reality is an incredible cold and cruel Mistress.

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From → Weight Musings

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