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Finally! A small achievement

January 8, 2013

About 5 days ago, I got down to 207lbs and I was so excited. I realized that I was a pound away from losing 60lbs since surgery and more importantly, that mark would represent losing 50% of the weight that I want to lose. I was pumped! The very next day I was up to 208lbs. I figured that maybe it was water retention or worse as I have been very constipated in the past few weeks. I was certain that in a day or so it would come off and I’d be back on track. Well, I sat at 208lbs for 3 days and then yesterday, I had the horror of realizing that the scale said 209lbs. I freaked out! This is not supposed to happen. I went through surgery and I am committed to making eating changes and exercising for the long haul. I DO NOT want to be on the weight loss rollercoaster. I only want to be on a downward trajectory. Finally, I decided that I needed some help with the constipation issue and decided to take one of the products that work overnight. They are not kidding! They definitely do work overnight. After being able to go this morning I decided to weigh myself: 206!!! If you listen closely, you can hear the trumpet sounds blaring now. This was my moderate goal of where I wanted to be in time for my check-up next week. Originally, the ultimate goal was to be under 200lbs by that appointment but with this stall I don’t think I can lose six more pounds in 7 days. Although, never say never. Perhaps the exercise gods will smile upon me.

Looking back at all of this, I know that stress didn’t help with the constipation situation. My family’s life has been on pause for 2 1/2 weeks since my husband was put on a paid suspension from work. The whole situation is completely ludicrous and he is not guilty of anything. However, he works in IT and everything has to be investigated and apparently, it will take as long as it takes. People clearly are not as worried about it as we are or the whole situation would have been resolved by now. We both pray daily that things will work out and that he will be able to keep his job thereby continuing to pay bills and be productive members of society AND be able to keep our health insurance that I so desperately need, not only for my weight loss care but for the fact that I have a very large lower abdominal hernia that needs to be remedied through surgery as soon as I can undergo anesthesia again.

I say all of this to illustrate the lesson I have learned. There are going to be setbacks. There are always going to be unforeseen circumstances that are going to be minor roadblocks. The mark of a true champion is how you push forward and persevere in times of adversity. Before, seeing 208 and 209 on a scale for a few days during a weight loss battle would have derailed me to the point of finding my face in the bottom of a Ben and Jerry’s container. Now, I was just annoyed. I know that I am committed to true lifelong change. I know that I will never again weigh 266lbs. I felt like the stall was an afront to all the hard work that I am putting into this. But, I pushed ahead and did my best not to think about it or about the black cloud that is looming over my family while we continue to wait for someone who doesn’t even know my husband to make a decision in regards to the fate of his career. You have to think positively and take solace in the little things and although this is a small achievement, it makes all the difference for me and reinforces the idea that I can do this. I will do this. Failure is not an option. I did not come this far to be stuck weighing 206lbs for the rest of forever and continuing to be a fat girl. There is nothing but sunshine and blue skies ahead for me. If I believe it, it will happen, right? 140lbs here I come!

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